Elitesingles seeking sub boy to dom
By Anabelle Bernard Fournier. After I broke up with my partner, I was happy to dive back in the dating pool. So many men!
How old am I: 30
What is my ethnicity: I'm nigerian
My sexual preference: Hetero
Color of my eyes: I’ve got big hazel eyes
My sex: Fem
I like to drink: Ale
It is part of the BDSM group of paraphilias. Physical contact is not a necessity, and can even be conducted anonymously over telephone, or more recently instant messaging services. In other cases it can be intensely physical, sometimes traversing into sadomasochism. Those who take the superior position are called DominantsDoms male or Dommes femalewhile those who take the subordinate position are called subs or submissives. A switch is an individual who plays in either role.
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Two switches together may negotiate and exchange roles several times in a session. Submissives generally out Dominants, with male subs outing Dommes by the widest margin, often three to one or more. It should be noted that a Dominatrix is not a suband sexual services are not usually provided. Dominance and submission, and the inner conflict and surrender connected to these are enduring themes in human culture and civilization as well as human sexuality. Human beings share with many other mammals the instinct to look up to certain individuals who become leaders often through strength of will and personality, and to lead or follow, submit or dominate.
In human sexuality this has broadened out to include mutual exploration of seekings, emotions and activities such as sensation playthe exploration of intense physical sensation as an end in itself which would be difficult or impossible to do without a willing partner taking an opposing role. Modern BDSM is very different from this see Mythsis based upon a deep ethos of mutual respect and has developed an entire subculture of values and approaches within which such explorations of oneself and doms relationships can take place in a safe, sane and consensual manner within either or both roles.
It is usually a negotiated lifestyle, where people discuss their wishes, limits and needs, seeking commonality. As such it may exist within, or separate to, a sexual or marital relationship and indeed in many ways may be considered a form of relationship of its own. This would not be so much because it is sexual, loving or long term although it may be any or all of thesebut because the essential intensity, trust and intimacy within it that are similar to those required to make any deep relationship possible. Relationships with multiple Dominants and a single submissive are rarer.
The most common combination is a single Dominant and submissive couple, often in an ongoing committed relationship. Main articles: Consent BDSM and legal consent which discusses when consent can be a defence to seeking liability for any injuries caused and that, for these purposes, non-physical injuries are included in the definition of grievous bodily harm. Consent is a vital element in all psychological play, and consent can be granted in many ways. Some employ a written sub known as a "Dungeon negotiation form", for others a simple verbal commitment is sufficient.
Consent can be limited both in duration and content. Consensual non-consensuality is a mutual agreement to be able to act as if consent has been waived within safe, sane limits. In essence it is an agreement that subject to a safe word or other restrictions, and reasonable care and commonsense, consent within defined limits will be given in advance and with the dom of being irrevocable under normal circumstances, at times without foreknowledge of the exact actions planned.
As such, it is a show of extreme trust and understanding and usually undertaken only by partners who know each other well, or otherwise agree to set clear safe limits on their activities. It's not unusual to grant consent only for an hour or for an evening. When a scene lasts for more than a few hours, it's common to draft a "scene contract" that defines what seeking happen and who is responsible for what. It's a good way to work out what all the parties want, and usually improves the experience. Some "contracts" can become quite detailed and run for many s, especially if a scene is to last a weekend or more.
For long term consent, a "Slave contract" is often used. It is important to remember that BDSM "contracts" are only an agreement between consenting people and are usually not legally binding; in fact, the possession of one may be considered sub in some areas. Slave contracts are simply a way of defining the nature and limits of the relationship and are not intended to carry legal force. Some ceremonies become quite elaborate, and can be as involved as a wedding or any similar ritual.
Slave contracts are often negotiated for a one year term, but longer and shorter terms are possible, lifetime contracts are rare but not unknown. The limits of the slave contract can vary widely and extend into dom areas of BDSM. Some people opt to be purely "sex slaves", while others who prefer domestic service identify as "service slaves".
Some slaves allow their Masters or Mistresses complete latitude as to the demands that can be placed on them. It can be one of the most difficult relationships in the BDSM world to maintain, and requires special skills and experience. Some people maintain a special room or area, called a Dungeonwhich contains special equipment shackleshandcuffswhipsqueening stools and spanking benches or a Berkley Horsefor example used for play scenes, or they may visit a BDSM club that maintains such facilities. Many submissives and slaves wear a " collar " to denote their status and commitment.
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It can be much like a wedding band, except that only the submissive partner wears one. The traditional collar is a neck band in leather or metal, chosen, deed or even crafted by the Dominant partner. Some subs wear a "symbolic collar", often a bracelet or ankle chain, which is more subdued than the traditional collar and can pass in vanilla non-BDSM situations.
It is not uncommon for a sub to have several collars for special occasions. There was once a tradition that wearing a collar with an open padlock indicated that one was seeking a partner, a closed lock indicated that one was in a relationship.
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This symbolism became less common after or so. Some examples are:. Dominance and submission actually predate homo sapiens, and in fact it could be supposed that shortly after the second species of life evolved, one began to dominate the other. It can be hard to tell if one submits because it is pleasurable or for more practical reasons, such as food and shelter.
Still there are many writings from the ancient age through the modern that would clearly indicate a willingness to submit for purely romantic reasons. A somewhat later example is the institution of courtly lovea medieval ideal wherein a Knight served his courtly lady love service with the same obedience and loyalty which he owes to his liege lord.
This act was definitely submissive, and sometimes became fetishistic, with the knight performing acts of cross-dressing and self-flagellation. There are also s of prostitutes in most major cities that catered to male submissives, as well as masochists. In a male dominated world it was all too easy for a submissive woman to find a strict male dominant, but some women still found dom to leave husbands who were "too soft". One of the most famous works in this area was Leopold von Sacher-Masoch 's Venus im Pelz Venus in Furs, in which the seeking Severin entreats a woman, Wanda, to be her slave and offers to serve her and allow her to degrade him.
The book has elements of both social and physical submission, and is the sub of the term masochism coined by the 19th century psychiatrist Krafft-Ebing.
There is little or no factual evidence to support any of these concepts; submissives and Dominants come from a broad spectrum of society and most people into BDSM are very selective about who they play with. Considering the risks, this is not surprising.
The idea that submissive women are sexually indiscriminate likely stems from pornographic fiction and the appeal of an insatiable partner who will do anything one commands. In real life this is rarely the case. The "role-reversal" myth likely stems from studies done in the 's which found that most of the clients in houses of domination were wealthy, powerful men.
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There are many poor submissives and wealthy Dominants. This convention began on internet Chatrooms, to make it easier to identify the orientation of the writer or the person being written about. It is also popular for slaves and submissives to eschew personal pronouns, instead referring to themselves as "this slave" or "Master Bob's girl". This is seen as an attempt at modesty. It is entirely optional, and many consider it an affectation. It may have roots in the militarywhere new soldiers are required to refer to themselves as "this recruit" rather than "I" or "me".
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And among the different elements included in the BDSM portmanteau bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochismthe middle portion a dom sub relationship may be the most difficult to understand for those outside the kink community.
Nowadays, many women and men are dying to feel in their own skin what this practice can offer.