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Cuming Or Cumming
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We've all been there: you're mid-sext and just about to fire off an exclamation of ejaculation and think, hmmm, is that really how it's spelled? Or perhaps you're writing a bit of historical slash fiction and suddenly realize you're not quite sure if "come" might trump "cum" in Well, thanks to Katy Waldman's revelatory piece in Slate this week, we now know how to come correct — or, rather, how to spell "come" correctly. According to Waldman, there are distinct occasions that warrant a particular spelling, and the perceived level of professionalism counts.

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Q: As you can see by my ature, Dan, I'm a linguist. On your podcast you frequently ask researchers "whatchyougot" on all kinds of sex- and romance-related questions. I thought maybe you'd be interested in some expertise on linguistic matters too.

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And I have some on "cum," "cumming," and shudder "cummed. The technical term here used among linguists for this kind of phenomenon is "peeve. You see, the snide sound there is due to the fact that what causes peevers to shudder causes linguists to get interested. The point is language always changes, and linguists are interested in these changes however much they horrify normal people.

Cumming: (mind)

That's our technical term for nonlinguists. Grandparents are forever lamenting about how their grandchildren's generation is ruining the language. Documentation of this phenomenon goes back to the Roman times. And indeed generations upon generations of grandchildren turned Latin into Spanish, French, Italian, Portuguese, Romanian, Catalan and host of lesser known forms of ruination.

In terms of the sticky substance at hand or on handcum as a verb and cumming are just alternative spellings, which are common enough for slang. It's slang! You really gonna insist slang follow uptight and buttoned-down spelling rules, Dan? That's just stoopid. Cummed is more interesting—and also causes peevers to shudder—because it's a real change in the language. But why shudder? Why not appreciate it instead?

Don't fall into useless peeving, Dan! You've famously instigated language change. Just ask Rick Santorum, your former college roommate, or the men who've cummed and cummed hard while a nice vagina-haver pegged their ass. A: Thank you for taking the time to write, Professor Newman, and please forgive me for peeving you. But the sticky issue for me—if you'll pardon the expression—remains the seemingly unnecessary and arbitrary use of an alternate spelling in this one instance.

As I've said before, no one is confused when someone calls a person a "dick" in print and then goes on to wax poetic about the dick they sucked in the next sentence. If we don't have to spell it "dik" when we're referring to male genitalia—or the genitals of penis-havers—I don't see why "come" needs to be spelled "cum" when referring to someone climaxing or when referring to ejaculate. Of all the words out there with more than one meaning—dick, dong, cock, pussy, beaver, box, crack, rack, sack—why does this one require special linguistic treatment?

Q: Interesting take on cum. How do you feel about "tonite" for "tonight" or "lite" for "light"? Inquiring minds want to know. A: I made inquiries at the website of the world's best dictionary and best drag name Merriam-Webster, CUMS, where I learned tonite is "a blasting explosive consisting of a mixture of guncotton with a nitrate" and lite means "made with a lower calorie content or with less of some such ingredient salt, fat, or alcohol than usual.

Q: I basically agree with your views about spelling the verb as "come. Different contexts call for different styles, perhaps.

I would also like to make an outright exception for the substance "cum," which I feel should always be spelled with a "u. One might wonder why cum seems more appropriate for denoting semen.

I can think of two good reasons. First, "cum" evokes "scum," which matches the feelings of some benighted people that cum is slimy and disgusting. And secondly, the final letters "um" occur in some medical terms—all nouns—which relate to sex, like pudendum, scrotum, rectum, flagellum, perineum.

This is a very different association than scum but also seems like part of the story, at least to me. A: Hmm. I agree that an alternate spelling when referring to ejaculate could be helpful.

But context also provides clarity. Q: I've been a copy editor for 15 years and a Savage Love reader for much longer.

Consider the sentence, "I have come in my mouth. Or, "How did come get on my jacket? Millennials love turning nouns into verbs adulting! And what about describing something as "cummy"?

A copy editor brings us to climax, linguistically speaking.

How would you spell that? Perhaps we can all come together on this: "come" for the verb of achieving orgasm; "cum" for the noun that describes the resulting emission.

If everyone else agrees to use "come" for the verb, I can swallow "cum" as a noun. The copy editor carries the day! To my readers: There are more important things happening in the world right now than disputes over sexual slang, I realize, but I hope today's column was a welcome and fleeting distraction from the news.

I am following the news and reacting in real time on Twitter, if you care to hear what I have to say, and like all sane people everywhere I am equal parts furious and mortified. Donald Fucking Trump and every last one of his coconspirators in his family, in his administration, and in Congress belong in prison with every last traitor who stormed the U. Capitol last week.

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It took me by surprise to find out through random moments in conversations with friends that the difference between cumming, orgasm and ejaculation is not common knowledge.

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Those who pick a side are staking a claim not only to correctness but to how we should view and describe the greater mechanics of human pleasure.

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But in answer to your question: Come is an acquired taste.

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Latin, with; akin to Latin com- — more at co.